"At times he heard within him a soft, gentle voice, which reminded him quietly, complained quietly, so that he could hardly hear it. Then he suddenly saw clearly that he was leading a strange life, that he was doing many things that were only a game, that he was quite cheerful and sometimes experienced pleasure, but that real life was flowing past him and did not touch him. Like a player who plays with his ball, he played with his business, with the people around him, watched them, derived amusement from them; but with his heart, with his real nature, he was not there."
Page 58
This small voice reminds me of the way depression is described in other books. It usually begins as small and easy to ignore until it consumes a person. I think that Siddhartha could be experiencing this great sadness as he participates in a world he has little interest in. He finds it strange that day after day he is preforming repetitive tasks towards a goal that he did not set for himself. He feels as if he is playing while his true self is elsewhere. I don't think Siddhartha will continue to be a merchant for much longer.
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