But what a path it has been! I have had to experience so much stupidity, so many vices, so much error, so much nausea, disillusionment and sorrow, just in order to become a child again and begin anew. But it was right that it should be so; my eyes and heart acclaim it. I had to experience despair, I had to sink to the greatest mental depths, to thoughts of suicide, in order to experience grace, to hear Om again, to sleep deeply again and to awake fresh again...Whither will my path yet lead me? This path is stupid, it goes in spirals, perhaps in circles, but whichever way it goes, I will follow it."
A few pages ago Siddhartha was suicidal and cursing the time he spent as a merchant. After repeating Om for the first time in his recent memory, he napped under a tree. Now that he has literally awoken from a deep sleep, he sees that the time was not a waste but a new experience. Although I have never felt a sorrow as great as Siddhartha I think this is pretty universally applicable. If one went through life without trying something new, without feeling sad, without ever feeling the need to destroy one's self they would miss out on the many lessons the world has to offer. Siddhartha does not desire to learn vicariously from teachers, from another person's experience. He rejected the Buddha's teachings because he wanted to find his own path, to make his own mistakes and learn from them. MMMM my mom just brought me up some pudding.
No comments:
Post a Comment